My husband and I got married almost 6 months ago and I realized he had severe sleep apnea about 9 months ago. I always knew he snored, but this was something else. I'd have the hardest time waking him up (I'd shake him quite a bit and nothing), and when I would wake him from a nap, he'd sometimes look at me as if he didn't know me, maybe commenting on work or something else I couldn't make out. I have no idea if this is "normal" with sleep apnea. He also "sleep eats and talks". (He also said once in his old house, he cooked in his sleep and set food on fire! Very scary.) He got his CPAP machine 2 weeks ago, after going to 2 sleep studies. He knows he feels better with the mask on but is reluctant to do so. He doesn't leave it on for more than 4 hours a night, from what I can tell. And I keep waking up, checking up on him. Also, I thought he'd stop getting stuck into such a deep sleep when he naps or would stop sleep eating/talking but he hasn't yet.

Has anyone's spouse acted similarly and if so, any advice on how to cope? I work in advertising and work late nights on occasion and get very nervous when I can't get through to him on the phone because he's totally passed out, or if he does pick up the phone he just doesn't sound right. I want to help where I can - as you can imagine, I'm anxious to have him get better so I can finally sleep well, too. My patience is wearing thin with lack of sleep and I figure being a newlywed shouldn't be this stressful! Any advice would be appreciated - thank you!

Your husband has at least two sleep disorders, Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA) and his sleep talking/walking/eating disorder which is called a parasomnia and is distinct from OSA.  I do not know if treating his OSA will decrease his parasomnias, but he sleep doc. would be able to answer that.

If he is not leaving his mask on, then his OSA is not being adequately treated and there will not be much improvement until he does.  Every time he sleeps without it, then he is having apneas which will continue to deteriorate his health.

It is very common for people new to CPAP therapy to take their mask off at first.  Try to get him to take an active part in his treatment and maybe even visit this site.  Find out (or better yet have him post) specifically what about it that is causing him to take off his mask.  Is it hard for him to breathe against, does his nose/throat get dry, does the mask hurt his face, etc?   We have usually simple solutions for almost all problems people encounter.

As you probably know, OSA is about much more than being fatigued.  It is important that both you and your husband understand the effects of untreated OSA.  Here are some of them:

The effects of untreated sleep apnea are severe and systemic.  Some of them are; increased risk of heart attack and stroke, increased blood pressure, heart arrhythmias, nocturia (because the increased pressure in the right heart ventricle makes the body think there is too much blood volume so urine is produced), headaches, fatigue (duh), memory and concentration problems, weight gain (sleep deprivation causes weight gain for several physiological reasons, one being the alteration of the hormones leptin and ghrelin), apnea induced seizures, there is a link to diabetes, there is a link to GERD, night sweats, depression, anxiety (each apneic event is a true suffocation and elicits the "Fright or Flight" adrenalin response), Fibromyalgia-like symptoms, impotence, relationship and job issues, car accidents, etc.

Keep us posted on his progress!

Vicki


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Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.
Marilyn Von Savant

That which does not kill you makes you stronger-Friedrich Nietzsche
Friedrich must of had apnea.

Hi Adgirl82

If there are practical ways to prevent him cooking or doing something similarly dangerous in his sleep then that may be a good idea while you both wait to see what a sleep specialist can offer.  For example, I don't know if the cooker is gas or electric, but if it were gas, you guys could remove the connector tap and lock it away with any tools that he could use to turn it on with. (And of course hide the key from him).  With electricity it's probably a bit harder.  Always having a working smoke alarm is essential (that reminds me, I must check mine).  Hopefully there aren't too many other possible hazards around the house and garage that he could get into, but think laterally and be proactive about it.  I wonder if there is a parasomnias or sleep-activities support website that has examples of things you can do.  I and a couple of members of my family have been known to sleep-eat and have no memory of it all.  But that involved just making sandwiches etc.  It must be very worrying for you, and I hope you get some help and solutions as soon as possible.

Best wishes,
AK


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"Attitude is a little word that makes a big difference" - Winston S Churchill
Machine: Respironics M Series Pro, 17cm
Mask 1: Respironics Comfortgel nasal
Mask 2: Resmed Quattro full face
37yo female, New Zealand, Mixed SA, AHI 45