My fiance and I have been together for about 2 years. We have wonderful times together and are best friends but I think he has sleep apnea and it's ruining our relationship. Last week he had a sleep study done and his doctor said to call back on the 8th of this month for the results. I am waiting impatiently. The time can't move fast enough.

I know this will sound weird but I hope he indeed DOES have sleep apnea, because we will have the answer. For months his constant falling asleep at all times,his constant exhaustion and lethargy has been draining our relationship. He works full time at an office and when he comes home he is so groggy and out of it most nights he just crashes, snoring very loudly with breaks of silence in between. On weekends he can sleep until noon and still be exhausted and fall asleep on me while we are talking or watching tv. When I try to wake him, (short of slapping him) he is in a coma-like state. I feel alone all the time. To make things worse I am out of work and am home all day alone and just want to be with him when he gets home and he crashes.

My frustration has hit an all time high and I am very depressed about it. One of the worst things that happens is when he drives home and pulls in the driveway and falls asleep in the car. I have to try to wake him up and get him in the house. His energy levels seem to plummet instantly at times. It's always a struggle for both of us. I love him dearly and I know he doesn't mean it but I feel abandoned many times. I have talked to him about all this, he knows and he feels horrible and weak. I know it's not his fault but i find my patience waring every day.

Does this sound like sleep apnea to you? Any personal experiences would be greatly appreciated!!! I can't be the only one that feels this way.

thanks  

Sounds like apnea to me.  Husband would come home from work and fall asleep during dinner, or if he was awake long enough would sleep during evening news.  You're lucky your fiance hasn't fallen asleep AT the wheel and caused an accident.

After he gets his cpap, he will have a sleep debt.  Don't be surprised if he needs to sleep a bit longer for a while to catch up on all of the sleep he's been missing.

You're really a keeper to be so kind and patientl!


_________________
Dianne's: Remstar Auto M, C-flex, humidifier, smart card. Mask: Swift LT, AHI- 23, lowest blood ox 80%.

John's: Same cpap, Mask: Respironics Profile-lite mask.
severe apnea, Cpap user for more than 20 years.

Thanks very much for the response. I am trying to hang in there. My fiance is going to call today to see if they will tell him the results. He may have to go into the office to consult with the Dr. before he gets the definite results. I hope if he does have apnea we can make a smooth transition to the CPAP and he feels better. I am sure I will be back on here asking for advice on the mask and how to operate it. But I guess we will cross that bridge when we get there.

I really appreciate your advice...best of luck.   

Wow, if that isn't  SA I would be interested to find out what it is !   He definitely has all the classic symptoms.  Your right, he doesn't mean to be so exhausted but he can't help himself.  It is a very dangerous situation.  I used to open the window in my car in frigid weather as I just felt so sleepy and was afraid I would fall asleep.  It is awful to be that tired all the time.  If indeed it is SA you are both going to be surprised what a difference therapy will make.  You will get more rest also !  

The mask is really an individual thing.  Each has their own favorites, but he will need to try on as many as he can to see what fits him better and feels comfortable.  A good seal is important.  There is a site on the forum that will show different masks.  He might want to check it out.  

Good luck and let us know how it goes.


_________________
REMstarplus, M Series with C-flex and heated humidification
C- Pap setting of 10
ResMed Mirage Quatro full face Mask
Sleep study showed 36 events per hour
Location, Nebraska

Thanks for the advice Something New & Dianne. I appreciate the responses. The latest is that today he called his doc and his doc said he indeed HAS Moderate Obstructive Sleep Apnea. I take this as good news since now we know for sure and can solve the problem. However, it 's not as simple and quick as I was waiting for. I thought he could see his primary doc and just get a script for a mask and 123 we'd be in business. Not so. We have to wait until the end of June for him to see a sleep specialist to go over the results formally and decide whether he needs another sleep study with the CPAP or just go straight to the CPAP. I am happy that we know now its OSA but I am upset that we still have to wait over 2 months to get onto the next step. I guess specialists (like my allergist) are booked for months. Bummer! But atleast i know i can come here for advice and a listening ear when we do go through all the stages. Best of luck and peace to all :)

I suggest you get a new doctor..Surely somewhere in your area there is a sleep doctor who can get you in earlier than that.  Many of the larger hospitals and/or teaching hospitals have sleep clinics.

Thanks for the Advice Capt Jack. I talked to my fiance this afternoon and asked him if he can get anything sooner. He said on Monday he's going to call and see what he can do. He feels that it's worth waiting to get the best care but this interferes with our life everyday and his quality of life so I really don't want to wait much longer. It's dangerous in my opinion. I am def gonna push to get an appointment sooner, although I understand he has to work within the constraints of his insurance company also.

peace

You can always PLEAD to get him in sooner, but they aren't always helpful.  You can also put him on the cancellation call list so if someone cancels, he will get a call to come in.

After he goes to the sleeplab/clinic, don't be surprised if you wait an additional 2 weeks or a month until you get a prescription for a cpap.

Good luck.


_________________
Dianne's: Remstar Auto M, C-flex, humidifier, smart card. Mask: Swift LT, AHI- 23, lowest blood ox 80%.

John's: Same cpap, Mask: Respironics Profile-lite mask.
severe apnea, Cpap user for more than 20 years.

Thanks everyone again for the posts on my topic. Things have been really hard here in so many ways and my fiance's sleep apnea isn't getting any better BUT today i called the sleep doctor myself and spoke to a person. I pleaded with her and told her the severity of my case. She said we were in luck and fit my fiance in TOMORROW MORNING!!! YAY!!!

I know this is just another hurdle until we finally get him on a c-pap and he gets used to it and it works effectively but getting an appt. with this specialist is the next step. My fiance's primary doc said he would most likely need another sleep study with the c-pap on and then see how it helps. Whatever the case, I am happy to not have to wait until the end of June for an appt.
I thought after his 1st sleep study he would be prescribed the c-pap and away we go but it's not so easy. Atleast some progress!!!

 

This is great progress !   It is possible he may have a split study all in one night.  If the problem is extremely obvious they may do the titration the second half of the night.

Good luck !


_________________
REMstarplus, M Series with C-flex and heated humidification
C- Pap setting of 10
ResMed Mirage Quatro full face Mask
Sleep study showed 36 events per hour
Location, Nebraska

I'm so glad they got him in sooner.  It seems like I have to fight constantly to get appointments, call backs, equipment, etc.  But, just know, like others have said - even after the next sleep study it may take a while to get the results... and treatment started.  I know that is ridiculous and in my opinion there is no excuse whatsoever for it.  But, you'll find from reading here that it's how it is and we can only do as much as we can to keep things moving as fast as possible.

Please be patient with him after he gets his equipment as well.  Sleeping hooked up to a 6 ft hose with an air compressor is not exactly fun.  Then you get to deal with mask face, claustrophobia, etc.  However, the consequences of NOT doing this are detailed throughout this forum and I know you don't want that.  Just put everything in slo-mo for a while, otherwise your ups and downs are going to be outrageous.


_________________
ResMed Auto Set II w/hi4 Pressure 9 - 20 EPR at 3 SleepWeaver, Mirage Micro, Liberty, FitLlife
Orig AHI 30.4 RDI 36 & RLS/PLMB

Thanks TXladybug and Something New! Here is the latest: His specialist said that not only does he have OSA he has restless leg syndrome (RLS) that wakes him up frequently with leg jerks. 226 arousals in 450 Mins are the results from his 1st sleep study. So this upcoming Tuesday we are going to see a lady for an hour consultation and fitting of a c-pap and then she is going to schedule the next sleep study with the chosen c-pap. So finally things are progressing much faster! And I am there with every appt. like his bulldog making sure we ask questions and get help as soon as humanely possible.

Yes, it does seem like it is a constant fight to get appts and the right treatments. I am really trying to have patience with him. Although,at times, I want to scream. *crossing fingers* that within the month we can get him his c-pap. And you are right TXladybug, an upcoming hurdle is his acclimation of the c-pap and possible anxiety with it. He is fully on board with everything and even called his insurance co. to see how much they cover for the c-pap equipment. I just have to make sure he doesn't do too much or drive too much until he gets his c-pap.

Thanks again to all of you kind people. I will keep you updated :)

IHEARTBOBBYHILL wrote:

Thanks TXladybug and Something New! Here is the latest: His specialist said that not only does he have OSA he has restless leg syndrome (RLS) that wakes him up frequently with leg jerks. 226 arousals in 450 Mins are the results from his 1st sleep study. So this upcoming Tuesday we are going to see a lady for an hour consultation and fitting of a c-pap and then she is going to schedule the next sleep study with the chosen c-pap. So finally things are progressing much faster! And I am there with every appt. like his bulldog making sure we ask questions and get help as soon as humanely possible.

Yes, it does seem like it is a constant fight to get appts and the right treatments. I am really trying to have patience with him. Although,at times, I want to scream. *crossing fingers* that within the month we can get him his c-pap. And you are right TXladybug, an upcoming hurdle is his acclimation of the c-pap and possible anxiety with it. He is fully on board with everything and even called his insurance co. to see how much they cover for the c-pap equipment. I just have to make sure he doesn't do too much or drive too much until he gets his c-pap.

Thanks again to all of you kind people. I will keep you updated :)

I have RLS also.  They should be able to suscribe something for him right now that will help.    His doctor should prescribe a xpap based on his study.  He needs to try on lots of masks to see what fits well and feels comfortable.   Don't be surprised if it takes him a bit to adjust to a mask.  I initially panicked
when they strapped it on and turned on the air.  I had to use an over the counter sleep aid to help me relax and I would also sit and watch tv or read with it on.  Everyone as you probably have read here has a favorite mask.  It just depends on your unique features and comfort zone.  Once I was comfortable with the mask and was able to get some good sleep I was encouraged to keep trying.  Ladybug is right.  Be patient.  Not only is he very tired, but going though this can be a big adjustment, no matter how beneficial it will be to him.  

He is lucky he has your support, especially since you understand how serious this can be if untreated.    Often the family support isn't there and folks have no idea the importance of treatment.  The forum, as you have seen is also a great place for support for both of you.  Well hang in there as you are getting to the home stretch !


_________________
REMstarplus, M Series with C-flex and heated humidification
C- Pap setting of 10
ResMed Mirage Quatro full face Mask
Sleep study showed 36 events per hour
Location, Nebraska

After 25 years of marriage that is ending in divorce, many rumble strips that were not to be discussed, a major car accident which included the whole family and the dogs, and his own self-created seizure by dozing at home,  I say....

Don't Marry A Prideful Man!!!!  Denial destroyed all of our dreams and is now destroying our wallets!!!

The best that I could do is provide both teens with their own cars so that they don't need Dad to drive them anymore!

(By the way, the dozing was soooooooo cute when we first dated.  Something to think about.)

Thanks for everyone who answered my posts, I forgot to mention in the previous post that his sleep doc prescribed him Requip for his RLS on the day we saw her. That seems to be helping a lot. He isn't waking up with severe soreness in his knees and feels better already. It's great.

The latest is that we went for the habituation for his c-pap today. He tried on different masks and (for now) has chosen a triangular one just covering his nose. I got the info from the specialist on the models of the mask and machine. It is the Resmed S8 Elite II and the Resmed Micro XL or M Quattro. He felt most comfortable in this setup. The machine does have an LCD screen and I asked the specialist questions about the model and mask.HIs insurance company will cover up to $3500 for the equipment so we are pretty covered with that. He is going for his titration his Saturday night and he was told to tell the people doing the sleep study that he wants the c-pap ASAP. So we are in the home stretch!!!! Thanks for the encouragement!
Now I am just crossing my fingers that the c-pap dramatically helps him and makes a huge difference.

I will also talk to him about joining the forum and telling others about his experience, struggle and the results of treatment.

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO OFFERED ME ADVICE & KIND WORDS...MUCH LOVE