CATS:

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm, as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call partner from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees. Hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get partner to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth.  Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get partner to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink one beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to partner's forearm and immediately remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot and drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey  compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table. Find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be  rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get partner to drive you to emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop at furniture shop on way home to pick out new table.

15. Arrange for Humane Society  to collect mutant cat. Call local pet shop to see if they have hamsters.

DOGS:

1. Wrap pill in bacon.



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I cannot begin to tell you how much this made me laugh.  Having owned (or been owned by ....?) several cats, this is just a purrfect description of how hard it can be to pill some cats.  Thank you, thank you for the laugh.  I really needed it.    


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We always say one of my cats is really a dog. I just wrap her pills in a soft treat and she wolfs them down. (She's also a giant klutz, loves to lie on her back and have her tummy rubbed, and would rather be with her people than anything else on earth.)
 
The other cat has jaws of steel and we've never managed to get her to take a pill. We get all her medications in liquid form--she's small, easy to hold, and almost never uses her claws, so we can drop the medicine into her mouth between the cheek and gum. But no pills! And she's smart enough not to fall for the pill-inside-treat trick.


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tillymarigold wrote:

We always say one of my cats is really a dog. I just wrap her pills in a soft treat and she wolfs them down. (She's also a giant klutz, loves to lie on her back and have her tummy rubbed, and would rather be with her people than anything else on earth.)
 
The other cat has jaws of steel and we've never managed to get her to take a pill. We get all her medications in liquid form--she's small, easy to hold, and almost never uses her claws, so we can drop the medicine into her mouth between the cheek and gum. But no pills! And she's smart enough not to fall for the pill-inside-treat trick.

One of my dogs is cleverly disguised as well, in a feline fur coat.
He sits up and begs for treats, fetches his toys when we throw them, and cuddles our (heh... the bird name is censored :) (which makes the poor bird very nervous).

Of course, he lets his true nature slip all too often -- like when he's walking across the carpet and happens to pass through a shaft of sunlight from the skylight or window, and flops over instantly. Sunshine -- its Kryptonite for kitties.

Pills? Pfft, not a chance. I have scars.

I can't even get a collar on these wild beasts of mine...I can't even begin to imagine what doing pills would be like.


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*Lady Who Loves Doing PR for ASAA!*

It's really a bad thing when you have to give medicine to a cat.  They hold it against you forever.



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hhopper wrote:

It's really a bad thing when you have to give medicine to a cat.  They hold it against you forever.

Try giving one a bath sometime.

[The author does not recommend this procedure and must not be held accountable for any unfortunate outcome should the reader foolishly attempt it]

Raconteur wrote:

Try giving one a bath sometime.

[The author does not recommend this procedure and must not be held accountable for any unfortunate outcome should the reader foolishly attempt it]

Not something I'd recommend either.

Nor trying to train one to walk on a leash...unless you want to be a laughingstock.


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LoriPA wrote:

Nor trying to train one to walk on a leash...unless you want to be a laughingstock.

I can't quite *walk* mine per se, but they do wear harnesses and when we take them to the vet, we let them out to explore the waiting area. They're much happier that way than in the carriers. They're also allowed out in the backyard if they have their harnesses/leash on, but that seems to take all the fun (and appeal) out of it.


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My neighbor's cat, Taylor, acts pretty much like a dog.  She walks on a leash and hangs out the window when she's in the car.  He can put her down anywhere and she'll stay right with him.  He takes her to PetSmart and she walks through the store with him.  An amazing cat!  Here's a photo of her.





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hhopper wrote:

CATS:

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm, as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call partner from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees. Hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get partner to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth.  Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get partner to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink one beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to partner's forearm and immediately remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot and drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey  compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table. Find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be  rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get partner to drive you to emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop at furniture shop on way home to pick out new table.

15. Arrange for Humane Society  to collect mutant cat. Call local pet shop to see if they have hamsters.

DOGS:

1. Wrap pill in bacon.

That is one of the funniest and most accurate things I've ever read! ROFLMAO!


_________________
SnickersPie

hhopper wrote:

CATS:

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm, as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call partner from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees. Hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get partner to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth.  Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get partner to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink one beer to take taste away. Apply band-aid to partner's forearm and immediately remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot and drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey  compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table. Find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be  rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get partner to drive you to emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop at furniture shop on way home to pick out new table.

15. Arrange for Humane Society  to collect mutant cat. Call local pet shop to see if they have hamsters.

DOGS:

1. Wrap pill in bacon.

That is one of the funniest and most accurate things I've ever read! ROFLMAO!


_________________
SnickersPie

Taylor is one good-looking cat. I love those eyes, and Persians in general. Our Chase is a Siamese, and knows it. All Persians I've known have that princely air about them, too.

Spanky is great on a leash, though he prefers to have run of the joint. The other two? Forget it. Popeye howls like he is being killed (kind of like when he is getting a bath) and Tiger hisses, growls like a dog and splays out all fours flat on the floor.


_________________
*Lady Who Loves Doing PR for ASAA!*

Taylor is actually a Ragdoll.



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