Hi all, I am a bit frustrated with my wife. As per my doctos request, I have completed my first sleep study and I was diognosed with sleep apnea. I go in for my second visit (titration) this Sunday. I am all for me getting better and finally sleeping through the nght. The problem is my wife isn't supporting me with the whole process. She thinks I can loose weight and get over the Apnea. She claims I didn't have the apnea when I was 20 lbs lighter. Can someone point me to a good article or give some advice? How can I educate her? I have told her of possible death, stroke etc...

Thanks

Art

Google will find quite a bit of information available online about the dangers of sleep apnea.

Sleep apnea can also cause a loss of libido, and CPAP will generally reverse that.  Do you snore?  CPAP stops snoring.

It is not the 20# that caused the sleep apnea, it is the being 10 years older -- and it may be that the apnea caused the weight gain.  Normally, in order to 'cure' sleep apnea by losing weight, the apnea would have been caused by morbid obesity, and you would have to be about 100 or more pounds overweight.

This is a very odd situation, normally we get a wife asking how to get their husband to go to a sleep study.



Last edited by Bearded One on Thu May 08, 2008 3:04 pm; edited 1 time in total

Will she sit down and read some of the stuff on this forum?  Lots and lots of info here.  Try to get her to at least read some of the success stories here.  Best of luck to you.

Yes, I know. It is very odd. Everything I have read, the spouse is very supportive. I have told her the dangers and tried to explain. It all falls on deaf ears. I need to explain it to her in a different manner. That's why I am seeking help.

Thats a tough one Art....she will have to be willing to read the info.

Well, start with this...the reason why you have gained weight is most likely due to having SA to begin with...though the major symptoms did not start showing up until the wieght gain.  Most who do lose the extra weight still have SA.  Yes, weight makes it worse but SA is usually due to either a narrow or weak airway and they collapse...this is in the case of obstructive apnea.  Then there is central apnea...which has nothing to do with weight...it is when your brains forgets to tell your body to breath.  This can be caused by a number of things including but nbot limited to Central Nervous System problems, medical conditions, medications and more.

SA affects all shapes, ages and sizes...many sports stars have SA...small men, large men, small women, large women, small children..AND Maybe she has it and does not know it!!!!

Being on CPAP will give you more energy and you may lose the weight...if you do take it off you will need another study to see what pressure you will need then...becuase you will most likely still need CPAP.

Waiting for the day to come to lose weight and not treat the SA could cause irreversable damage to your heart, cause a stroke, raise your blood pressure to dangerous levels, deprive you of the O2 you need to be productive,  increase your risk of Diabetes or cause you to fall asleep behind the wheel...possibly killing you, your loved ones and other people.

Then there are the men talking on here about increased libido and there wives getting chased around the bedroom at night by a guy in a darthvador mask.

Bottom line...YOU are doing the right thing...SHE is not willing to educate herself on your condition...go get that study and get your equipment...she does not realize that she is asking you to suffocate yourself over and over again every night to a possible point of asphyxiation.  Your body...and the only one you have and hopefully the only one she loves...go do it.

HEY HEY...Just remembered there is a video on this site that you can show her.

Hi Art!  Welcome!  We are proud of you for completing the first sleep study!  It took a lot of courage to take that first step!  I am so glad you are going back for the second.  I am wondering if your wife is overwhelmed and scared.  Sometimes, when we share this news with the ones we love, they might not know how to respond.  Some cry right along with you. Others act out and act angry.  Others act indifferent, like its 'no big deal.'  Others go into denial.  Everyone responds a little differently.  Sometimes it takes a little to adjust to the reality of the shock of a serious diagnosis.  Perhaps she is struggling with some of her own issues somewhere in her life.  There are many posts on this site regarding weight and sleep apnea.  Losing weight will not take away the apnea; however weight loss can benefit your health.  Once you are on CPAP, the few extra pounds may come off easily.  Do a search here at this  regarding weight gain.  I hope you feel supported and know that there are rays of sunshine after the storm!  I hope you are feeling better soon, and I hope your wife will understand.  Lantern4life

Sleep apnea is a health problem that requires management; just as any other situation would require management, with, or without the help and support of a spouse or partner.  

For a wife to not be concerned about her husband's health, there is at least one major problem involved.  One possibility is that she really does not see this as a genuine threat to your health, another possibility is that she may not know how to deal with a condition that she views as some sort of threat to her security, and there may be other causes.  Education will help the situation; of course the root problem is that she does not seem to be receptive to education right now.  

No matter what the cause, you may have to just go ahead with the titration and start CPAP without her support.  After a while she may learn to just accept the situation, or she may become curious and be receptive to learning about the situation.



Last edited by Bearded One on Thu May 08, 2008 3:27 pm; edited 2 times in total

Just thought of another way....bring out the life insurance policy and start showing her how to handle all the things that you now do...and tell her why.  ( I know, I know no t a good idea)  

Someone will reply with something that will strike a cord.

Somewhere on here there is a posting of a guy in his 30's that passed away due to SA.

What Causes Sleep Apnea?

Certain mechanical and structural problems in the airway cause the interruptions in breathing during sleep. In some people, apnea occurs when the throat muscles and tongue relax during sleep and partially block the opening of the airway. When the muscles of the soft palate at the base of the tongue and the uvula (the small fleshy tissue hanging from the center of the back of the throat) relax and sag, the airway becomes blocked, making breathing labored and noisy and even stopping it altogether.

Hope that helps!

To make things a little easier for you...hre are a few links to threads on this forum

http://www.apneasupport.org/about10113.html

http://www.apneasupport.org/post-105398.html

http://www.apneasupport.org/about460.html

http://www.apneasupport.org/viewtopic.php?p=104976

http://www.apneasupport.org/about16244.html

http://www.apneasupport.org/post-14872.html

http://www.apneasupport.org/post-35056.html

Ok I am starting to ADD on this!  BTW...I wore a size 6 when first dx'd!

This is a strange one.  OK, maybe losing weight will help...it does with some.  But, you arent going to lose weight overnight and in the meantime the damage is still being done.

Put it this way.  You don't just yell at a drowning person "LEARN TO SWIM!".  You help them NOW when they need it and worry about the rest after the crisis has past.



Last edited by BarryKaraoke on Thu May 08, 2008 4:31 pm; edited 1 time in total

Wow, I didn't expect such prompt responses. Thank you all for the "support". To put you all at ease I am going to do the titration on Sunday. Right now, I am taking care of number one...me.

Again thanks for your kind words and support. I'll have to read all the links Mrs. Rip Van Winkle later today when no one is looking over my shoulder.

Art

That why I found them for you...assuming you may get a little flack sitting for a few hours searching.  These all have to do with weight conversations.

Barry....I like you response...high 5 from me.

You are not nearly sick enough for your wife to be supportive... most spouses become really helpful if you have something really bad like cancer or a heart attack (sometimes) things like diabetes and depression or sleep apnea you have to be confident and do the right thing for yourself and tell her what you need from her. She is no doctor and has no idea if it is serious or not you have to tell her what is going on and what you are doing about it.


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Arthur
Sleeping with a curvaceous blonde autoPAP (Resmed autoset). Surviving, and in small ways doing better. Maybe there will be that big surge of energy, and easier weight loss one day. Hope springs eternal.....

Artemis wrote:

Wow, I didn't expect such prompt responses. Thank you all for the "support". To put you all at ease I am going to do the titration on Sunday. Right now, I am taking care of number one...me.

Again thanks for your kind words and support. I'll have to read all the links Mrs. Rip Van Winkle later today when no one is looking over my shoulder.

Art

Maybe "someone" should be looking over your shoulder while you read those threads - might learn something.


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From the land of ahhhzzzz...